A Dream For Baylee

1/13/10 update

Today we spent about 8hrs. going thru lots and lots of photos of Baylee for her celebration service. These were actual photos. We will look thru the digital photos another day. It was good to remember all the events that took place and how hard Baylee had worked.

Tomorrow we have an appointment at East Lawn Memorial Park to sign papers for Baylee's final resting place. The crypt we chose is indoors and near a huge window with lots of sunlight. We weighed the pros & cons of both parks and decided this park was a little closer to us. Duane also has family ties here.

Duane called Human Resources & had them remove Baylee from our health insurance policy.

1/11/10 update

We visited a cemetary yesterday (East Lawn Memorial Park) & 1 today (Chapel of the Chimes-Sunset Lawn). Now we just hav to decide where we'd like Baylee's final resting place 2b. We're also planning for the both of us at the same time so the 3 of us can b together. We signed all the proper papers for Baylee's cremation later this week. We decided she could stay in the clothes she was wearing: one of her favorite turquoise Ariel shirts, her favorite grey stretchy pants, pink toe & heel crew socks, and her hair in a pink pony holder. I took 2 of her favorite little dollies for her 2hold, Sabrina & Strawberry Shortcake. Both them have red yarn for hair. When we left the sun shined for about 2mins, through the grey gloomy sky.

Duane called Gerber Life Insurance Company today 2get the paperwork started.

Baylee Rose Tadlock

Our sweet baby girl went home 2b w/the Lord this morning @944am She went peacefully in my arms which is just what I prayed for. I believe w/all my heart that she waited for that exact moment to go. Please continue 2 pray 4 Duane & I as we go thru these next days. As soon as we hav details about a service I will post the information here. In lieu of any flowers please send donations to Project Ride at www.projectride.org (or by mail) There is a scholarship fund set up in Baylee Tadlock's name. Any comments can be left here below this post. Thank You! We love you!

January 9, 2010

1/7/10 update

Baylee didnt wake up last night tremoring during her sleep, 1st time in a while. When she woke up @930 this morning I gav her a bath & brushed her teeth. It must really wear her out b/c after I got her dressed she fell asleep & I hadnt given her any meds yet. I went 2 the kitchen 2mix up her medicines & by the time I returned she was fast asleep. It only took me abt 3mins. Shes sleepin on her bed here in the livingroom now.

Its more difficult 2pick her up now. I noticed it during the holidays. Her back is very curved (s shaped) & she slumps over forward. Scooping her up is no easy task. She has absolutely no head control anymore either. That was the last main muscle area 2go. Without support her head flops forward & backward just like a newborn. Im always really careful when I pick her up so Im not hurting her.

I weighed Baylee 2day & shes 45 lbs. Thats a 5 lb. loss since I last weighed her in October. Im sure its from not havin any food for the past 14 days. We r both amazed @how tough she is & that shes still holdin on. Ive told Baylee several times that its ok 2go...to grab the Lord's hand with all her strength...that mommy & daddy will be ok...that she needs 2find all her grandparents in heaven & tell them I said they need 2take care of her till I get there....to look for her friends that r in heaven so she'll hav someone 2play with. Its real important to us that she knows its ''ok'' to let go.

1/4/10 update

After giving Baylee the 1st dose of morphine Sunday night, we waited 2c how long it would take 2start working. It was actually pretty fast & lasted her abt 8hrs. She woke up after 5am tremoring. I got up & gav her another dose which lasted her another 8hrs+. At 3pm i woke her up giving her a kiss (oops) so i gav her a quick bath. She fell asleep quickly afterwards just needing the Ativan.

Its easier on me now that I can give her all her meds at once. I had been giving her 1 then waiting, then giving her another. Tracy said it was fine 2give them to her all at once. So glad I asked abt it.

Last night & today has been a repeat of yesterday. 3rd dose given before bed last night & 4th dose given @6am this morning. She is sleeping VERY well with the morphine.

1/3/10 update

Last night's sleep was hard for Baylee. She woke up very early, tremoring so rapidly she couldnt settle down 2get back 2sleep. The first thing I did when I got up was give her some childrens motrin in case there was some pain.

Tracy came by today. She had 2 re-certify Baylee for the 2nd time, this was her 6month visit. I had a bunch of questions ready.

Baylee's bp was 130/110. Extremely high. I think the last couple of weeks it was around 120/80. Her gums have receeded quite a bit. Now I'm seeing very long teeth & her gums bleed easily, even just barely touching them. Its from being dehydrated & all the medicines shes taking. I stopped giving her the extra water on the 27th because she kept burping & spitting it up. The only water she is getting now is what is mixed w/her medications.

I am considering giving Baylee some morphine @night now. I dont think the night time dose of motrin I gave her is lasting as long as it use to. So after talking w/Tracy abt it today, Im going to give her a dose 2nite & see how she does. Tracy wanted 2make sur I didnt feel bad giving it 2her nor blame myself if Baylee were to go shortly after giving her the morphine. I wanted 2know if Baylee's body could get use to the Ativan as well. To the point where she would need a larger dose. Tracy said if I needed to give her more to do it. The best thing for Baylee right now is 2b comfortable, not tremor constantly & sleep. She reminded me Baylee is in God's hands. We all agreed that God just isnt ready for Baylee yet.

New Years Day

We are amazed at Baylee's strength 2 stay here with us, even going 10 days without any nutrition. God's just isnt ready for her yet. Everything Ive mentioned before continues...medicines & sleep.

We usually stay up very late on New Years Eve to watch the ball drop but this year I just couldnt do it. And Baylee fell asleep around 930. We were both exhausted! So off 2bed we went. Duane stayed up 2watch it tho.

This morning we were up just in time 2c the last half of the Rose Bowl Parade. I was holding Baylee. So nice that we got to see the last 3 parades together (Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years.) She slept most of the day today.

week 25